Platonic Valentines Day in Escanaba (Two Bands and Italian!)

(Illustrative Only)

Tony enjoys hanging
with platonic friends. Less
hassle and good 
laughs. Besides
when you bust out 
the suit you know
your doing some 
dancing. 🙃

Good car, good friends,
and a nice suit is all one needs.

Some people spend Valentine’s Day wrapped in romance—rose petals, candlelight, mushy photos, the whole glittery circus. The rest of us? We squad up with our platonic ride-or-dies and rip up the town like friendship-fueled goblins. Honestly? Way more fun.

No drama. No “where is this relationship going?” interrogation. Just laughter, chaos, and zero expectations except “don’t lose anyone in the parking lot.”. Definately don't forget you left your phone and swear you just had it. 😬

We hit Amvets first—because nothing screams “Valentine’s spirit” like a place that rocks your socks off. Then we rolled over with the Guppy Gangsta Wagon to Eagles, the private club that occasionally opens its gates like, “Fine, peasants, come party.” Membership’s about fifty bucks, which is cheaper than one fancy date-night dinner and comes with something fun every other day. You’ll meet people, might make a few friends, and have a few laughs. Better than Cheers! (Honestly, a low key fun place).

The weather? Foggy. Cool. Not the romantic fog from movies—more like “I hope that’s a person and not a trash can.” Love was not in the air. But the smell of pizza was.

We ended the night at Mueller’s Pizza, investigating their top-secret cheese-and-Italian combo like undercover food detectives. I was trying to eat more vegetables, but it’s Valentine’s Day—you’re legally allowed to eat like you’re starring in your own food documentary. Besides it has tomato sauce and onions on it so that is healthy.

If you want to know the bizarre history behind this holiday of chocolate, heartbreak, and overpriced flowers, go read up on the origins of Valentine’s Day. Spoiler: it’s weirder than any modern relationship.

The Dark Origins of Valentine's Day