The Mystery of Mueller's Delicious Pizza Cheese (Word on the Street Escanaba)

(Illustrative Only)
Tony loves Muellers Pizza
and ran off with a piece 
to see why it tastes so good.
He paid his bill and asked
 for a doggy bag and 
put a slice in it, and shoved
it in his jacket hopeing no
one would see him. He
barely escaped without
being detected by
acting normal. 🙃
 

Tony had an unusual fascination with Mueller’s Pizza. No matter where he traveled—Paris, Rome, Toledo—the moment he rolled into town, he sprinted to Mueller’s like a man who hadn’t eaten in weeks. He’d sit down, take one bite of that glorious cheese, and immediately wonder why it tasted better than every pizza he’d ever had, including the fancy ones with ingredients he couldn’t pronounce.

(This story is more for fun but the actual story 'Word on the Street' section is labeled below. This story is inspired from the actual.)

Determined to solve the mystery, Tony launched a full-scale investigation. He tried cheese spectroscopy, cheese DNA testing, cheese genealogy—basically everything but hiring a private detective in a mozzarella-colored trench coat. Nothing worked.

Then one day, a tiny old lady who’d lived in town since dinosaurs roamed the Earth whispered a clue. The cheese, she said, came from special Wisconsin cows—legendary cows—raised by a man she once knew, who crafted cheese so good it could make a statue shed a tear. She even told Tony where to look.

So Tony packed up his dog sled—because why not its winter—and mushed his way to Wisconsin. He interrogated cheese factories across the state. Most of them shrugged. A few offered brochures. One tried to sell him curds in bulk for his trip home.

At last, he stumbled upon a small artisan cheese maker. A true cheese wizard. A shaman and wise man of cutting the cheese. A man who understood flavor, texture, and the emotional journey of dairy. He told Tony, “This isn’t just one cheese. This… is three cheeses. Slow cooked. Blended like a symphony. And made only for them.”

Tony begged. He pleaded. He tried every tactic short of bribing him with breadsticks. But the craftsman refused to reveal the recipe. And so Tony returned home defeated, his quest unfulfilled.

But he learned something along the way: Mueller’s pizza is one of a kind. That’s why it’s a beloved icon of Escanaba. So if you ever find yourself in town, stop by Mueller’s. The staff is friendly, the cheese is ridiculously unique, and great memories put the whole place together (I used to work there doing delivery as a teen).

Word on the Street: Word on the street is that someone wanted to discover why Mueller's cheese was so delicious. They saw a cheese label, went to Wisconsin, and traced the cheese back to its source. There, they found that the cheese was a slow-cooked, flavorful multi-Wisconsin cheese made just or them—and that’s what gives it its unique taste. (Could be true or untrue but that is the basic story.)

*A few people were standing around talking about the delicious unique taste of Muellers Pizza and we thought it would be an interesting idea to share Escanaba unwritten stories. Write the true story in 'Word on the Street" and then make a fun narrative. It might help some of our local businesses as well gain exposure for some of the local legends history that doesn't make it into the books. Muellers is a local icon and many people have good memories there. If you have an interesting possibly true legend you heard from a few different people about Escanaba send me a message to the right.  Al Capone up next...